Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else (Galatians 6:4).
Boom! MIC DROP!!!!!!
Gosh you guys, this topic has been stirring in my spirit for such a LONG time… I was set to write and post this on Monday and then I got VIOLENTLY ILL and couldn’t even get off the couch on Monday. But I am feeling INSPIRED TODAY! Hopefully you can sense my excitement through my excessive use of CAPS!!!!!
I have been thinking about what having a spirit of pride and a spirit of comparison have in common- NEWS FLASH- EVERYTHING! I actually came across this scripture, Galatians 6:4 just now, as I sat down to begin writing this post. And it literally says it all. Is there even a reason to go any farther? Probably not, because the poignancy of scripture is far greater than my messy ramble of words. But I like to ramble so off we goooooo…
PRIDE
Around 3 years ago, I met weekly with a lovely group of women for a bible study. We ate delicious breakies every week, shared personal stories, laughed, and sometimes we even confronted some of our personal demons. Imagine my surprise when I confronted a personal demon I didn’t really “think” existed. Pride. We were reading a book by a Christian author (I honestly can’t remember what the book was called- I could probably go rummage through my books to find out…), and at the end of every chapter were coordinating bible verses about the subject matter. The chapter about pride didn’t convict me. In fact, when getting to the “looking up scripture” portion I had this thought, “I don’t have a problem with pride, I can probably skip these verses.” Thank heavens I didn’t! I got out my bible and looked up each and every one of the verses on pride and my spirit was SLAIN! Again, I don’t remember what verses they were exactly but here are a few good ones:
Where there is strife, there is pride,
but wisdom is found in those who take advice.
(Proverbs 13:10)
Pride goes before destruction,
a haughty spirit before a fall.
(Proverbs 16:18)
Do you see a person wise in their own eyes?
There is more hope for a fool than for them.
(Proverbs 26:12)
In his pride the wicked man does not seek him;
in all his thoughts there is no room for God.
(Psalm 10:4)
For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you.
(Romans 12:2)
The bible has A LOT to say about pride. And it is never good. God exalts the humble and punishes the proud. It is the highest quality trait in God’s eyes to be humble. And yet I think that PRIDE might be the main personality trait that we all struggle with. Further, we use “pride” as a good thing. We take pride in our family, our children, our jobs, our communities, our churches… And we take pride in taking pride in these things. It doesn’t even sound bad to “take pride in x,y or z”. So when does pride become a bad thing?
Well I believe pride is a terrible thing when our pride becomes our identity. I have taken a lot of pride in my role as a mother and a wife. I have taken a lot of pride in my talents and giftings. I have taken so much pride, in fact, that I have sought to justify the very things that I am proud of. And that right there is a HUGE red flag of a “pride problem”. I would call this bragging, and yet we do it ALL THE TIME. We brag at how smart our kids are, how well behaved, how well they sleep, how advanced they are at sports. We brag about things. We take videos of ourselves opening packages of things we have bought, we show our homes and styles and designs. We brag about our talents, about our spiritual gifts. And here a mind boggling one: we even brag about our problems!!! Enough is enough.
It is really hard with social media to be humble and yet still engage with people, the way people do. I LOVE social media! I love my kids. And I LOVE to show my kids on social media. But I have to be careful about the framework in which I share our life. I have to ask myself almost 3 times over, “why am I posting this? Why am I posting this? Why am I posting this?” And if my answer has anything to do with me or what I want people to respond, then I don’t post it. My Instagram stories are mostly useless posts that have become a way for me to document my daily activities with my kids. Honestly they are more for my viewing pleasure than anyone else’s. But my Instagram feed-- that is where I expect to engage and interact with others. This is where I am constantly having to check my intentions. I admit, I have posted things for the wrong motivation many times. It is a daily challenge for me to forgo my own pride and live in a more humble manner.
Further, Pride is the vehicle that leads us to enter into entitlement and comparison.
COMPARISON
Now for the really hard subject to confront. Comparison. Woman (because I am one, so I understand that this is an ongoing issue among women) we need to re-frame our thought life in regards to comparing ourselves to others!
I have been party to many groups of women with unspoken comparison issues. Where instead of lifting each other up for our talents and giftings we are far more concerned with how someone else’s beauty/talent/gifting/calling could/would/should affect our own. Which is total nonsense because bottom line, IT DOESN’T!
Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34).
THIS VERSE has been on my mind since Olivia was born. I was hearing it, reading it, listening to sermons on it, you name it and that verse was there. And I thought it had everything to do with my experience in birthing Olivia. I thought, it was my mission to share my birth testimony with people so that others could hear it and claim it for themselves. And this is true. Testimonies have the power for others to receive and experience the same miracle. And we are in fact called to share our testimonies for this very reason, so that they can be replicated. Testimony in Hebrew is eduth. It also means precept or warning. It is derived from a word meaning witness, as in, ‘one who gives evidence’. That’s what a witness is supposed to do – to tell the truth. That word has a primitive root (Ayin-Vav-Daleth) meaning “to return, to repeat, to do again.”
Instead, what God has shown me in regards to this verse in Acts, is that He wants to draw us ALL close to knowing Him. He wants ALL to experience His grace and mercy and love. God does not place anyone's value above another. And yet, we place everyone in order of “value” all the time.
In the new testament there is a lot of discussion about Jews versus Gentiles. Paul spends so much time writing to the early church about this issue. Remember, the entirety of history had been spent believing that the Jews were God’s chosen people, so believing that now EVERYONE was able to come to the father, was a very, VERY new concept.
In Roman’s 11 The apostle Paul writes:
13 Now I am speaking to you Gentiles. Inasmuch then as I am an apostle to the Gentiles, I magnify my ministry 14 in order somehow to make my fellow Jews jealous, and thus save some of them. 15 For if their rejection means the reconciliation of the world, what will their acceptance mean but life from the dead? 16 If the dough offered as firstfruits is holy, so is the whole lump, and if the root is holy, so are the branches.
17 But if some of the branches were broken off, and you, although a wild olive shoot, were grafted in among the others and now share in the nourishing root of the olive tree, 18 do not be arrogant toward the branches. If you are, remember it is not you who support the root, but the root that supports you. 19 Then you will say, “Branches were broken off so that I might be grafted in.” 20 That is true. They were broken off because of their unbelief, but you stand fast through faith. So do not become proud, but fear. 21 For if God did not spare the natural branches, neither will he spare you. 22 Note then the kindness and the severity of God: severity toward those who have fallen, but God's kindness to you, provided you continue in his kindness. Otherwise you too will be cut off.23 And even they, if they do not continue in their unbelief, will be grafted in, for God has the power to graft them in again. 24 For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree.”
I love this imagery. Obviously I already have an obsession with olive trees. But here, Paul is using it as an example of how both the Jews and the Gentiles can be heirs of the Kingdom of God. Yet, he is also using it as a caution that both the Jews and the Gentiles can be cut off as well. And what might lead to being cut off, well PRIDE is mentioned as one of the ways we are cut off from God’s heritage.
Specifically, a pride that thinks, “I am greater, I am higher, I am more of a believer, I am more worthy to be loved by/blessed by/used by God.” God is telling us that there is NO ROOM for a spirit of pride in his Kingdom. And yet, I see this pride in the Church all the time. I feel this pride in my own heart far more often then I would like to admit. And it goes a little something like this:
“So-and-So is writing a faith based blog, so I can’t/shouldn’t/I don’t want to compete with theirs.”
“If __________ is being used by God and delivering amazing words and preaching then there isn’t a place for me to do the same.”
“No one is affirming my gifts and talents, so why am I doing this”
“Is no one affirming me because they are jealous?”
“So-and-So thinks they can just start a business venture even though they have no expertise, like ME!”
“If I am doing something, then no one else can do the same thing or else we are competing with each other.”
If you are reading these thoughts and thinking they are extreme and harsh, YOU ARE RIGHT! They are! Some may be an exaggeration or some may be thoughts you have to confront in your own heart and spirit. More importantly, these thoughts are part of a bigger problem. They are formed from a mindset of scarcity. I am sure many of you have heard this concept before. It is not my own. I have heard it several times over, and I have to revisit it many times to remind myself that our God is not a God of scarcity.
Meaning, the talents and gifting of someone else does not disqualify your own. Recognizing the beauty of another woman does not make you less beautiful. Seeing the blessings of another person does not mean you are less fortunate and blessed. And seeing an anointing or calling on someone’s life does not eliminate your own anointing or calling. Again, this concept is clearly articulated in scripture:
1 Corinithians 12: 12-26 says,
12 Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For we were all baptized by one Spirit so as to form one body—whether Jews or Gentiles, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink. 14 Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.
15 Now if the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason stop being part of the body.17 If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be?18 But in fact God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19 If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, but one body.
21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” 22 On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty,24 while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it,25 so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26 If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
Gosh, God’s word is So AMAZING! It is crystal clear. Here is a call to action, to eradicate this pride that leads to comparison. That call is honoring and rejoicing in the gifts of others!
So, what if someone shares the same anointing and giftings as you? GREAT! AMAZING!! Celebrate with them! Encourage each other! Speak life into their giftings! Create relationship around your shared talents. Work TOGETHER for God’s Kingdom. For we are called “ACCORDING TO HIS PURPOSES” and not our own. The world can be a harsh and cutthroat place, but the Church certainly does not need to be. We should be constantly edifying one another, prophesying to one another, practicing and praying for more spiritual giftings so that we can do more for the Kingdom of God.
So my challenge for all of us is this: Reach out to someone who has similar talents and interests as you and encourage them. Don’t be fake or awkward about it, but humble yourself to lift them up!
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