JOY

This message has been stirring in my heart for much longer than I ever realized. I knew there was something pulling, nudgining, causing me to ask,

“Where does my Joy come from?”

If I can talk specifically about motherhood for a moment, I would like to do that. I think this question, about my joy, really started to persist inside me when I submitted my life to having babies and raising children. I have found so many wonderful, happy and joy filled moments during my early years as a mother. Yet, along with all of the good, I have also wondered and questioned and thought that maybe there was something lacking. That maybe I could do more, be more, aspire more. I have had seasons of loving staying at home with my children and seasons of restlessness and flat out wanting more. On social media, I often get asked if I ever want to go to work. Or sometimes is not a question at all but more of a comment like, “I don’t know how you do it” (in reference to raising all these little kids, staying home, homeschooling…). And for many, many years, my gut reaction or the answer deep inside of my soul would have been a salute to the trials of motherhood, raising my flag of surrender, and admitting how I am struggling and wondering and trying to find my joy in the midst of it all.

Again, along with the longing desire for a joy that stuck around, or a feeling of completeness, or having “found my calling” were many, many, many wonderful moments, when all strung together, allowed me to carry on as a stay at home mom with enough purpose to do it day after day. I don’t write this to sound grim, but to join in acknowledgement of what I hear and believe many women feel about motherhood. In fact, nowadays I hear more about the struggles and trials of motherhood than I do about the joys. And my hope in this rest of this post is to flip that script. Please don’t take offense at anything I go on to share. This is my personal experience, and my deepest belief that in fact JOY, is a real, lasting, and tangible thing, that we can possess continually, at all times, and in all of life’s jobs, trials, celebrations and circumstances.

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My journey to discover my true JOY started in my darkest, loneliest, saddest season. I was no bible novice at the time, but rather I had a real lack of application of the knowledge about God and the bible that I did possess. But as I have said before, God and the bible CAME ALIVE to me while I was in this dark season. I needed the Word to get through every moment of every day. It became my daily bread. Of course, it makes sense that in the midst of sadness I would find out where true joy lies. There are countless bible verses that tell us just this:

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.” (Nehemiah 8:10).

“and provide for those who grieve in Zion-- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.” (Isiah 61:3).

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,” (James 1:2).

Honestly, joy is something that only God can give. There is no other logical, natural way to explain how both deep sadness and intense joy can so boldly coexist, besides God. And yet, this was just the beginning of my ability to rely solely on the Joy of the Lord and to put aside all other self created desires that I thought would help me find happiness.

The years following this dark season can best be described as rapid fire revelation, miraculous interventions, God’s power and goodness on display in my life, again and again and again! God did mighty things for myself and my family but the culmination of it all really came into view just about a month before my 5th baby, Olivia was born. I have shared all of these details before, but for anyone who wasn’t around at the time, let us review together:

Olivia was a completely unplanned and unexpected pregnancy. She was conceived a VERY short 3 months after my previous birth of our 4th (and what we thought was our last) daughter Emmy. We had not decided on a name for our soon to be 5th daughter, when I got a very clear word from the Lord to name her Olivia. The short version is that all within a weeks time, I had shared about my fears of third un-medicated, home-birth, I had been given a book about believing for supernatural, pain free childbirth, and I was throwing myself an olive branch themed baby shower. The day before my baby shower I had placed 5 vases full of olive branches on my dining table, I opened up the Supernatural Childbirth book to begin reading and on page 1 read the verse, “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine and your children will be as olive shoots around your table.” (Psalm 128:3). I looked over at the 5 vases of olive branches on my dining table, and I knew instantly that 1. My 5th baby would be named Olivia, meaning Olive branch, and peace. And 2. That having a supernatural pain free labor was for me!

Operating in the Prophetic

I have come to know and recognize when I am operating within the prophetic. There are many ways and times that this comes and it’s often very different, but yet I always know when it is happening. Sometimes I can hear a word and something “goes off” inside me that says, “That is TRUE! This word is for you!” It’s as if my instant belief catapults my faith forward so fast that there is no doubt in my mind that something will come to pass. And it does. I also know that where doubt and fear exist faith can not exist. So this too makes sense: that when you are able to instantly believe something as fact, you are very really, creating it in the prophetic realm. In regards to Olivia’s birth and name; there was a prophetic word released to me in that bible verse about olive branches; it contained all the power it needed to actually fulfill the promise that was my pain free birth with her a month later.

I don’t want this concept to be lost on anyone, so I want to attempt to explain it in a completely unrelated area. There was a couple weeks time where God had put a thought on my heart about legacy and creating legacy and the importance of generational thinking. During that week, this theme came up again and again and again. I heard sermons and randomly came across many bible verses all revolving around this subject. That same week I went to a midweek prayer service at our church and unbeknownst to me we were going to be praying over a couple of people in our church. When one person went forward to get prayer there was an unction in my spirit and I stepped forward to pray for her. Having very little personal relationship with this person, and knowing zero intimate details about this person’s life, I was catapulted into the prophetic with extreme accuracy and precision. I had no clue that I was operating prophetically until my pastors told me more specifics afterward. But essentially what had happened, is that all of the messages, and bible verse and things I had been going off inside of me in regard to family legacy, leading up to the prayer meeting, were words that were to be released through me to someone else in the prophetic. Releasing something in the prophetic over someone else is in so many ways even more amazing and fulfilling than having a prophetic word released over yourself.

So back to Olivia’s birth for a moment. We decided on naming our 5th baby Olivia a few weeks before she was born. Olivia means olive branch, which means a peace offering. Although I was believing for a supernatural birth at the time, I didn’t come to the full understanding of how her name, Olivia, was a powerful part of the prophetic decree that created the atmosphere for her very powerful, supernatural birth. It wasn’t until recently, as in the last month that I put 2 and 2 together and saw an even bigger picture of how perfectly God works literally everything little thing together!

If you are still reading, lucky you, you get to learn the name of our next little baby boy that we are expecting in just 4 weeks!

I am currently nearing the end of my 6th pregnancy and have pulled out my Supernatural Childbirth book once again to get my mind, heart and spirit aligned with my belief to have another pain free, supernatural birth with this baby! And yet, my mind and spirit has been a little preoccupied contemplating and learning about the “oil of Joy”. This has been one of “those things” that has come up over and over and over again in the past month.

To start with, Joy is what I was declaring over this pregnancy from the beginning. I knew that I could have a supernatural birth, but I wanted to experience a supernatural pregnancy as well-- and for me that meant being joyful throughout the 9 month process which I have always expressed my dislike for. As part of my declaration for a joyful pregnancy, we decided on baby boy’s name early on. Asher, meaning happy, joyful and blessed. Part of me always thought that joy was this simple thing that should be easy to come by. And another part of me knew that joy was much more complex than that. I just didn’t know what it entailed.

In all honesty, I think the reason I have been so enamored with the concept of Joy this month, is because even after declaring joy over my pregnancy from the beginning, it has not been the evident bi-product that I was expecting. Instead, this pregnancy has been a complete blur. From the time we found out we were expecting we decided to list our house, get it ready to sell, keep on top of it while it was listed, pack up and sell our life in Oregon, move to Texas and start to begin our next chapter here. I have finally had a little time to reflect on all that has happened and I find myself looking for that anointing of Joy that I proclaimed over this pregnancy.

Without doubt I have had peace during this pregnancy. More so than any of my subsequent pregnancies. And yet these last 9 months have given us more unknowns than the entirety of our marriage. I have felt very content in moving away from familiarity, family, friends and a great community that we built in Oregon. The apostle Paul writes in his letter to the Philippians, “I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.” (Philippians 4:11). And I think that one verse best sums up how I feel about all the seasons life has thrown my way. Contentment doesn’t come naturally, but by the Spirit and revelation. While peace and contentment have been abundant, the joy portion has been lacking. It is not like I am not happy. I feel very happy. But I so want the overwhelming spirit of joy to come upon me. The bible says in Acts 13:57

“And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.”

Charles Spurgeon piggybacked on this verse saying, “Wherever he comes as an anointing , whether upon the Lord or upon His people, upon the Christ or the Christians, upon the anointed or those whom he anoints, in every case the ultimate result is joy and peace.” (Spurgeon, “The Oil of Gladness”).

JOY AND PEACE! I hope you guys can so evidently see what God has been revealing to me... When the Holy Spirit is upon you, the ultimate result is absolute peace and absolute joy. Thus, walking in the Spirit will always produce overflowing Joy and Peace. If the Holy Spirit is present the whole atmosphere should emanate Joy and Peace! It should drip off of the anointed and spill onto others. It is an oil, so the oil of gladness should flow! Praise God! It is no question where my joy comes from. It doesn’t come from my work, my reputation, my purpose, etc. My joy comes from the Holy Spirit upon me, Christ in me!

“For the fruit of the Spirit is love, JOY, PEACE…” (Galatians 5:22).

Since Olivia’s birth, peace has been my portion. I have felt so wrapped in the Peace of His presence. Her birth was dripping in the anointing of His peace. Looking back it still feels very surreal. The atmosphere was saturated in peace. And there was joy too! But this time I know what is ahead of me. I can sense the prophetic power of what is inside of me and what has been spoken to me and around me. Joy overflowing is my portion too!

In the book “Supernatural Childbirth” by Jackie Mize, she recounts one of her supernatural, pain free births, “It was the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced because I didn’t have fear. I had confidence and PEACE instead. I experienced a JOY and a thrill that no words could ever express as I gave that one big push to get that second miracle baby out..”

Peace and Joy! That is our portion. Whether in childbirth, child-rearing, working in the home, working out of the home. Peace and Joy. My prophetic promises from the beginning, Olivia and Asher, my Peace and Joy! Once again I am so overwhelmed by a God who Loves me so much and is not done with me yet!

“I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return].” (Philippians 1:6).