Birthing in The Supernatural vs. in The Natural
This is Olivia Quinn, born at home on March 31, 2018 at 40 weeks 5 days. She is my 5th baby and first supernatural, completely pain free birth. To explain just how amazingly supernatural this birth was I should start by saying it was my 3rd home birth without an epidural or any pain medication. So I know very well what pain in childbirth feels like. I will also say that it was not “pain free” because she was my 5th baby- because i don’t believe that births “get easier” each time. In fact, after the birth of my 4th baby, I was left completely terrified for the birth of my 5th. And I have had very wonderful natural labors- quick, just a couple pushes each time and healthy baby and mommy every time too! But they have been painful!!! So, here is a quick overview (you can read specifics about the leadup to this birth HERE). Just 6 weeks before baby 5 was due, a friend recommended I read “Super Natural Childbirth” by Jackie Mize and simultaneously my midwife told me about this very Facebook group that one of her other mom’s had joined. And for those 6 weeks leading up to Olivia’s birth I meditated on God’s Word day and night, prayed continuously for a painfree birth, mirrored God’s word back to him in my prayers, talked about and believed for a pain free birth with my husband many times over so that there was no doubt we were in agreement... and the list goes on. Some of my specific prayers were: 1. For the baby to flip to my left side so she would not be posterior at the start of labor- all 4 of my previous births were posterior! Baby finally flipped by my last prenatal apt a couple days before her birth. 2. That my water would break BEFORE pushing. Pushing being the aspect of labor I feared most had always included my water breaking with the first push. In my mind I believed that the water remaining in tact to that point added a lot of extra pressure. 3. That I would be overflowing with joy and laughter during the birth! God is so good and delivered all of my prayers and more!
I left off in Part 1 of my birth story on the evening of Good Friday, when I began having very early labor contractions. I had contractions through the night as I slept, waking up every 30 minutes or so due to the pressure of some more intense contractions. All in all, I was able to get a full night of sleep and wasn't even sure if this was in fact labor or not. In the morning, on Saturday, we were planning on taking our kids to an Easter carnival at our church. I was fully planning on taking them myself, but my contractions were remaining consistent at about 5 minutes apart. Since they were completely pain free I wasn’t positive if I was in labor or how far along I might be- but I called my Midwife to check in. My previous labors had progressed fairly quickly, so she decided to head on over, and with a quick change of plans my parent's came by to pick up my kids and take them to the carnival in our place. When my midwife team showed up, around 10:00 am, I don’t think they really knew if I was in labor. In fact, I think they questioned if I was in labor during the entire birth process until I was pushing. We jokingly made comments about how no one could tell when I was having contraction by my facial expressions or behavior.
Having a home birth is wonderful for many reasons. One aspect that I love about it is the ability to move about your home freely, and labor however you desire. You can literally choose to do laundry or wash the dishes to distract yourself if you want to. In fact, in early labor I tend to do just that (gotta make sure everything is in order for the new arrival!). So, shortly after my midwife team had arrived I was upstairs, and had just bent down to plug in the vacuum and to give my bedroom a good once over, when some fluid came trickling out. I thought maybe it was some of my waters leaking out! Due to this fact alone, my midwives didn't want to check my dilation- in the event that my water had broken they don't want to risk introducing bacteria into the birth canal by doing a vaginal exam. So we had literally ZERO indication as to how far along my labor might be. And as I was not experiencing pain, I had no clue either!
The midwife's role is fairly limited in early labor, they are a support system and they check vitals and the baby's heart rate every 15 minutes or so. Right away they detected an irregular heart beat but normal rate. And then again at the next vital check it remained. At this point, the midwives stepped outside to make some consult calls and see what the recommended course of action might be. While they were out of the room, Tyson and I prayed and declared that the baby was healthy, in no distress, and would be born without complication. I also texted my mother and mother in law to ask them to pray in agreement with us! Shortly after, my midwives came back in and we discussed options of transport to the hospital. All of the recommendations they received were in favor of transport to the hospital. But I felt assured that there was no reason to transport and I was most comfortable at home for a couple reasons worth mentioning. First, my previous daughter, Emmy, was born with the same irregular murmur and it went away shortly after her birth. Secondly, it is my personal belief that switching between the "supernatural" and “natural” can happen with the slightest amount of fear. "God DOES not give us a spirit of fear", so for me, there was absolutely nothing to fear in regards to her heart beat and I was in full belief to continue having a pain free birth (fear being what creates an atmosphere for the pain).
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." (2 Timothy 1:7)
Supernatural vs. Natural
This is possibly the area of the birth that I feel most important to address. Let me be clear, I have had 2 births with "intervention" in the form of epidurals and pitocin, I have had 2 "natural" home births without any intervention, and I have had 1 Supernatural birth without any pain. As a part of the "pain free" childbirth Facebook group that I joined leading up to Olivia's birth, I have read, and reread, many birth stories where the mom was believing and contending for a pain free birth but things didn't go according to plan. In almost every one of these birth stories, there was an event, out of everyone's control, that introduced an element of "unknown" and often produced and environment of fear where there was peace only moments before. And as a result of the introduction of fear, many people chose to put their trust in a form of intervention rather than the peace that comes from the Word of God. It is very natural for us to put our trust in medical professionals. And "playing it safe" is advised by nearly everyone that you could ever talk to in an "unknown" situation.
I want to be very cautious how I address this, because I have let fear guide my own decisions in birth many times before. I have absolutely no judgement (and there is no right or wrong) on people who choose to transport to the hospital during home births just as I have zero judgement for mother's who choose epidurals and any other form of intervention. I have literally been there, done that! I am hoping to convey how the spirit of fear can have very real power that can produce very real, serious, and even negative outcomes. I have read birth stories nearly EXACTLY like my own, where a heart murmer was detected, fear was introduced, transport to the hospital took place, and intervention was absolutely necessary to save the babies life! Thank God for doctors and nurses who do perform many miracles! I honestly do not know if in those situations, for those other mothers, if the outcome would or would not have been different without the presence of fear. Are you following me? I'm trying to say, "I don't know the answer!" But what I am suggesting is that FEAR has NO place, no matter if the outcome is good or bad. And I am further suggesting that maybe, JUST MAYBE, the outcome IS affected by the presence of fear.
Now I can already hear people getting offended by that last sentence. My heart has no motive other than to encourage others and possibly grow our faith, together, as to what is possible in this world as it is in the next! But in order to obtain any pieces of the Kingdom of God we can not occupy a spirit of fear in even the slightest. I know that to be truer than true!
Similarly, I think slipping between the supernatural and the natural can happen without us even knowing it or understanding how it happened. In fact, Jackie Mize addresses this in her book Supernatural Childbirth. She talks about how during one of her labors she was having a wonderful, pain free birth at the hospital and as she looked at the monitor that was showing her contractions, she realized how big and intense they were registering. So she had a fleeting thought of "Wow, those are intense contractions, maybe I should try some breathing techniques" (even though she wasn't in pain), and as soon as she started doing the practice of Lamaze breathing she suddenly felt the intense pain of the contractions. She goes on to say that she had a couple contractions with pain before she even realized what had happened. But that, once she took her eyes off of God and trusting and believing Him alone, once she did what the world suggests is "the way" to have a pain free labor, that is when she slipped out of the "supernatural" and into the "natural". What this suggests to me is that God's ways are in fact completely different than our ways. Oh wait, there is a scripture or 2 that says just that,
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." (Isaiah 55:8-9)
God literally has ANOTHER WAY!!!! I talk a lot about this in this post HERE. God's original design was not for Eve to give birth in pain, therefore, HE HAS ANOTHER WAY!
And because God's way is not the world's way, I was also very cautious about what information in regards to birth I was open to learning about and what information I chose not to incline my ear to. For example, I have had a lot of experience with posterior births, and so I wanted to gain knowledge about how to help a baby change position before the onset of birth. Thus, everything I learned about the baby's position helped inform me and prepare me for birth, which in turn INCREASED my faith in believing for a pain free birth. But on the flip side, I was not open to hearing "techniques" about managing pain. I fully believe that many birthing techniques for pain management DO help women in labor. And Thank God for those techniques. But I thought researching pain management techniques might in fact interfere with what I was believing for by giving me something to fall back on. Again, I was not looking for a worldly way to have a pain free labor but a completely supernatural GOD WAY!
Back to my Birth
After discussing transport, and choosing to stay at home, I decided to sit on my bed with my husband, and watch some stand up comedy on Netflix. I must have spaced out for a couple minutes because I totally did not realize that Tyson had stepped out of the room, in fact out of the house to take a business call. That is when I heard a snap and my water leaked out. And in that moment I realized Tyson was no longer sitting next to me- in his defense he really didn’t think I was in active labor. Haha. So, I yelled downstairs to my Midwife team to come up and get my husband inside. Beside my water breaking, I still was not in any pain but I could sense that something was about to change. They all ran up the stairs and I casually said, “I think I feel like pushing.” So, I chose to stand up beside my bed, because I’d never birthed in bed before. And we all waited to see what my body told me to do. The next contraction passed without the desire to push. And then with the following contraction came my first push and out came her head. Zero pain!!! It felt like pressure of course but I felt completely in control and calm. I didn’t even make a sound. We waited for my next contraction to push again and 3 entire minutes passed before the next one came. My husband says he was growing anxious about why I wasn’t pushing again sooner but I could tell that I was supposed to wait. And when the second contraction finally came, baby shot out and my husband caught her! He passed her to me and of course everyone in the room was bursting with joy and amazement. My Midwife was shocked and laughingly said, “I guess you really were in labor!”
I did not experience and intense "transition". I guess my transition was the moment my water broke, I had one strong, but pain free contraction and then began pushing. In ALL of my labors, "transition" was intense, scary, incredibly painful and left me on my hands and knees literally making farm animal sounds and vomiting. So that alone was proof to me, my husband and even my midwives that my experience of pain was nearly non-existent.
Labor is a hard thing for a woman to process. It takes some time of reflection to realize what exactly happened, how you felt about it, etc. So in regards to my pain free labor I wanted to allow myself some time to really reflect and process what exactly took place. Initially, my husband was the one who was excitedly telling everyone about how I had a pain free labor. And honestly, hearing his interpretation of events helped me process it myself. It helped me to recognize if I did in fact have a pain free labor or if it was all in my head. Additionally, I did a lot of reflecting on my other natural labors and asked myself the questions, "did I actually experience pain before?" and "what exactly was the difference in pain between these labors?" Honestly I am still processing it all of the time because my entire perspective on labor is suddenly completely different. I now know, only 4 births late, that labor does not have to involve pain!
My midwives and I talked about the labor several times after, and in reference to my pain free experience they asked, “what were you focusing on?” So I told them honestly, “Nothing. I had done all the work in the weeks leading up- praying, declaring, and believing for a supernatural birth as it is Promised." And that right there really summed it up for me. There was NOTHING that I did or willed. In many ways my "Supernatural Labor" felt completely natural after all. There was no mysitcal trance or magical anectode or fairy dust involved. It literally felt like what I believe all of my labors should have felt like- The Way God Intended IT To Be!
I could say so much more... But I just want to leave my story with the encouragement that, “God is no respecter of persons” (Acts 10:34) or as some versions say, “God shows no partiality.” Thus, if it was done for me it can be done for you too! But you might have to crush the enemy under your foot a couple times along the way!
Thanks again for reading along!
Lexie
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